


Almost Exactly Average

by nimblermortal



Series: Marvel Wizards [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Young Wizards - Diane Duane
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 17:54:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18554818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nimblermortal/pseuds/nimblermortal
Summary: Tony finds out he's not the only wizard in existence. Steve finds out he has just. So much work ahead of him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These addendums aren't very polished, but I've been sitting on them for a few years now, so it seemed like time to drag them out of the drawer.

Steve knocked on the door to Tony’s workshop. As usual, the music was up loud enough to echo through the sound protection, though now Steve suspected it didn’t sound nearly that loud inside the workshop. And, as usual, the music cut out within moments of the knock.

“What’s up, Capsicle?” Tony asked when he opened the door. “I’m a little busy in here right now…”

_ I bet you are _ , Steve thought sarcastically, but he pasted a smile on his face that wasn’t quite as giddy as what he was feeling. “Dai, cousin!” he said. “Why didn’t you tell me you were in the Manual?”

“Don’t read ‘em,” said Tony, “and I’m usually on the copyright page, why do you care?”

“Not  _ a  _ manual.  _ The  _ Manual,” said Steve.

“Manual to what?” asked Tony.

Since he didn’t have to hide anymore, Steve pulled his Manual out of its inter-dimensional pocket to demonstrate. Steve’s Manual had started life the size and shape of a comic book, and had never lost that startling resemblance to  _ Amazing Stories _ , even as it grew thick with information, then thicker with the weight of the sketchbook paper Steve had grown to love. Mostly his doodles vanished these days, but he still found them next to certain entries, half-finished spell diagrams or Mickey Mouse animations drawn in the original (the  _ right _ ) style. It was the one thing of Steve’s that had only grown  _ more  _ his in the last seventy years, and Steve ran a hand over it affectionately before looking up to find Tony staring at him wide-eyed.

“You get that from time-traveling through ice?” Tony asked.

“No, I’ve had it since I was eight,” Steve said with pride. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’ve always been able to make ratty old books appear from absolutely nowhere,  _ what are you talking about? _ ”

“Wizardry,” said Steve, puzzled. “What are you talking about?”

“Listen, Steve, if that were sleight-of-hand, I would -“

“No, wiz-ar-dry,” said Steve. “Powers That Be? The Oath? In Life’s Name and for Life’s sake, ringing any bells?” He flipped the book open and turned a few heavy pages. As usual, it didn’t take long to find what he was looking for. “Look, here you are.”

 

STARK, Anthony Edward

200 Park Avenue

New York, New York 10166

Power rating: 0.7 +/- .1

Physical status: Corporate.

Mission status: Presently unassigned.

 

Now Tony was giving him a funny look - a little like he had when Steve took him to a middle school science fair and Tony was supposed to ask each kid a question they could answer. Steve gave him time to work it out.

“You’re telling me there are other quote wizards unquote out there?”

_ Oh,  _ thought Steve.  _ Oh dear.  _ But he was learning from the kids that you had to just go on pretending like things were normal even as you said you had never heard of that and they might die of it, so he said, “Yep! Here I am,” and flipped back a couple of pages.

 

ROGERS, Steven Grant

1614 Connecticut Ave NW

Washington, DC 20009

Power rating: 5.0 +/- 0.2

Physical status: Corporate.

Mission status: In abeyance, pending training.

 

“You’re a  _ five? _ ” Tony asked. “What does that make you, basically a god?”

“No,” said Steve carefully. “It’s almost exactly average, actually. I’m being groomed for local Advisory, but that’s really more of a temperament thing.” For himself and the kids, as he understood it; the Powers weren’t above using Avengers fame to their advantage.

“I’m sorry,” Tony said. “You’re telling me this Whispering thing is wizardry, and I can use it to fly and talk to machines, make infinite, safe renewable energy, change the face of defense technology, shoot force bolts from my hands - all that at, what was it, point six? And you are a  _ five  _ and that is  _ average _ ?”

Steve frowned. “I guess,” he said.

“You guys aren’t very good at your jobs, are you?” Tony asked after a moment.

That was too much for Steve. He flipped angrily through the pages, unconsciously bringing himself up to his full post-serum height. “There. Prescott. Lucy Prescott. She fought manticores, fucking manticores, at ten. Devron Mays comes to me twice a week with questions about oil composition because he is keeping the subway from flooding and also worried about contamination from the harbor. He’s an 8, by the way, and Nita Callahan is working on a solution to increase effectivity of biodegrading those oils in her spare time dodging alien mercenaries and volunteering to get eaten by sharks. You don’t even want to know what her sister has gotten into. So don’t you tell me these kids are bad at their jobs, because they’re the lucky ones. They’re the ones who came home. From what I could see skimming your bio, the only time you’ve fought non-humans was with the rest of us watching your back, and you’ve yet to look the Lone One in the face.”

That had gone a bit far. You weren’t supposed to use their bios against people, especially when you were starting to get Advisory-level access.

“Whoa,” said Tony, not seeming to care. “Sore spot.”

“You can call me any name you want, Mr. Stark. You can insult my mother if it makes you happy. But don’t you tell me that my men aren’t doing their jobs.”

“I’m sorry,” said Tony. “I just found out there’s hundreds of people ten times as strong as me working to ‘guard growth and ease pain’ and the world still looks like it does today.”

Steve sighed. “There’s never enough wizards anywhere, and entropy is running. Imagine what the world would look like without us.”

Tony looked blank. “What does entropy have to do with it?” he asked.

“Jesus, Tony, do some reading!” 

“What, in your pretty little phone book?”

Steve sighed and tried, again, to pull himself together. Some of the kids had their Manuals on eye pods these days, and he himself was an Irish immigrant; he’d been offered the option of memorizing what he needed to know. “All right, let’s start over. I’m a wizard in training to be the Advisory for the New York Greater Metropolitan Area. When you need to know something about wizardry, how do you figure it out?”

“Hi, I’m Tony and I hear voices.”

Steve sighed again. Of course Tony was like a freaking cat. He entertained a brief happy fantasy of passing him off on Rhiow, and then said, “Well in future, at least until you’re fit for wizardly company, one of those voices is going to be mine.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This bit was too rough to quite get hooked on to anything previously - but as I said, it's been a few years, so I might as well let you guys have what exists.

“Let’s go over some philosophy! So, wizardry is granted by the Powers That Be, which themselves come from the One. They’re on our side, mostly.”

“Mostly?”

“Well, there’s the Lone Power. And the rest of the Powers - they’re  _ good _ , but they’re not  _ safe _ .”

“Not a tame lion.”

“Sure. Anyway I wouldn’t want to stand between them and their dinners. And usually their dinner is some sort of combat with the Lone Power - the one who invented death, and the death of the universe. Entropy is running; time is running out. Wizards are here to try to slow that process down.

“Wizardry is what happens when they need some finer control over an intervention, and wizards are their way of applying that. You know - well, at least you know what your Oath means to  _ you _ , and can maybe guess what that means for wizards as a whole. The Powers choose wizards who will be the answer to a problem, or to a question, and they give them as much power as is needed to answer that question. For me, that problem was probably Red Skull.”

“And now you’re retired?”

“Ha! No, that was just the start of it. A mid-career project, maybe. Maybe they’re saving me up for something later, getting me prepared. Maybe they’re just keeping me around to give new wizards a hand.”

“And what do you think my question was?” Tony asked.

He was not, for once, being flippant; and Steve had given the matter some thought already, but he stayed quiet for a while now, deciding whether to voice it, and trying to judge how much time Tony would need to hear in order to believe Steve was taking him seriously.

“I think your question just might have been, ‘What do we do about Tony Stark?’” he said. “No, hear me out. From what I can tell Stark Industries was a big player, maybe the biggest in the weapons industry, and wizard or not, you’re an impressive person.”

“Thanks.”

“Shut up. It sounds to me like you were going down the path of serving the Lone Power’s ends - and the Powers’ answer was to give you the opportunity to serve theirs. Which you took, Tony.”

“Thanks, asshole.”

“Hey, you took it. Grabbed at it like a drowning man trying to breathe. That says more about you than any path you were set down blindly.”

“It’s your job to say that, Advisor-man.”

“It is. It’s not my job to lie about it. I’ll say it in the Speech, if you like.”

“Why would that make a difference?”

“You can’t lie in the Speech, Tony.”  _ Don’t you know anything _ lay heavy on his tongue as he watched Tony look cross-eyed and open his mouth and close it several times.

“You’re  _ right _ ,” he said in English, before switching to the Speech. “The sky is - grass is - wait a second, what if I - there are fields of red grass. Why can I say ‘there are fields of red grass?’”

“There probably are, somewhere,” said Steve.

“Well, if it’s  _ that  _ easy, this is the simplest scientific diagnostic - The nearest Earth-like planet inhabitable by human beings is…”

Steve watched him work his mouth for several minutes, presumably listing planets. It was fascinating to watch. He wondered if Tony had realized yet what an idealist he was making himself out to be.

“Why can I say there are fields of red grass, but not where an inhabitable planet is?” he asked at last, in English.

“Don’t know,” said Steve cheerfully. “Could be that it’s a generic statement. Could be that you envisioned it and weren’t specific about where they were - there were fields of red grass in your head, for example. Could be that you  _ believed  _ it. I’m sure there’s a whole section in the Manual on truth.”

“Lot of good that does me,” Tony muttered.

“Tony, how long have you been a wizard?” Steve asked, before he could start sulking and end the discussion there.

“About three years. Why?”

“In three years, you never once tried to lie in the Speech,” said Steve. “Might want to consider what that says about you.”

He tossed Tony [some thing that he has been playing with] and left the workshop.


End file.
